Three Blind Mice
by N170017
Summary: One letter could change a lifetime...
1. letters are tricky

Title: Three blind mice

Note: This story is based on the saying: "Change one thing change everything." I wrote this is first person point of view (Buffy's) because I've just been writing that way a lot. When it says time turning it basically means that it's a flashback that i've changed. So yeah... I really don't know what to say... erm yeah I don't know if it will be continued... I guess it depends if anyone likes it. I have more ready to be posted but I wanted to know if I should... I really like to listen to what the readers say. So yes that's my long a/n and I hope that this isn't that bad... I spent a lot of time editing but I still suck at it!

I'm standing at the kitchen table thinking about my life. Earlier Andrew told me that Spike was alive... I was so happy and mad all rolled into one big mess. I couldn't believe he wouldn't tell us he was back. Dawn was so emotionally devoid for all those months and to think that it could have ended with one phone call. I know that it would be hard on him to just come back to life or un-life- whatever and to tell us but... It's just that so many things had to happen to get here, so many things- and he was a part of them. He should be here; he shouldn't even have been in LA when everything went wrong. Hadn't he done enough for the world? Okay I guess he's done his bad too but...

So this morning I phoned Wolfram and Hart to try to actually get a hold of him. You know tell him everything, yell at him, cry at him... All those things I do when things happen like this but I couldn't reach them. I was confused but I still tried; anyway possible I could to get through. So that didn't work... I wait, think maybe tomorrow I'd try again. It seemed the way to go. Dawn was all smiles and couldn't wait; she loved Spike in that best friend way of theirs. I smiled, a real smile, I just needed Spike to be Spike.

But all that was gone now. All the happy and the smiles, all the hope. See ten minuets ago, hardly any time at all... Gunn phoned. I didn't know him, never had met him, and maybe had heard his name once. From Willow when she went to LA last year and got Faith. He said there was a battle. My heart stopped, okay figuratively but you know. Spike was dead. Dead! Just dead. Gone, I wonder if forever this time. Angel was too... dead. Gone forever too. Gunn was in bad shape or so I heard, but I couldn't seem to care enough to really care. Gunn said my two ex boyfriends had fought together, an almost indestructible force. I smiled at this... how could they have stood each other? They died heroically, Gunn added... like I didn't already know that. I had placed the receiver down only to be devastated further by Dawn's smiling face. Let's just say that was so much fun... Oh yeah fun, fun, fun!

Now I'm here... thinking. Well actually writing. A note, a letter a reason to keep living. The pain of them being gone is too hard. I needed them even if I let them think I didn't. I need them to hold me and tell me that it'll be okay. Even one of them would be great. I just need the comfort. Dawn's crying, I hear her through the walls. I need her to save me but she needs me more so I don't dare let myself cry. Not one tear. No, I can't.... I can't, I can't. I walk towards one of the kitchen cupboards and pull out a few things and carefully set them out. Then I grab an envelope with the word 'Buffy,' printed on the side. Simple enough.

Dawn's sobs burn into me as I begin what I think is the only way, and that's to fix everything. I need to help, I need them back.

* * *

(Eleven minuets later)

The letter is gone from here. Gone in search of its reader. Dawn has stopped crying but I know that it won't take, she's too hurt. I walk to my room and jump into the bed. The softness comforts me only the slightest. Twenty minuets later I realize that there's no chance I'll sleep tonight, not with all that's happened so I quietly walk out of my room. I wander into Dawn's room and find her asleep. I wonder how she managed that, I wish I could be in the state she's in. I walk out of her room, careful not to awaken her, and to the bathroom. I open the cabinet and pull out a container of pills. Just sleeping pills, but I know that I still shouldn't take them, but all I can think is, 'what the hell do I care'. I throw two back into my throat and swallow hard.

I make my way back to my room and again try to sleep, this time I have more luck. I drift into a half waking state in hardly any time. But I could not dream of anything but black, bad omen. A really bad omen...

* * *

(Time turning)

I run outside to my mailbox, the last letters I'll ever get at this house await inside. Half of my being is telling me not to open it, to let it be left where it is. But what might be there is far too temping. I hurry and open the wooden casing and seize up what is inside. One note, just one. I pull it out and examine it. On the top in type the words, 'Buffy,' make me unsure. Who would be sending me anything? I expected, I don't know something for my mom... I breath in and out as I tear into the top and thus doing so the letter inside falls to the ground, I pick it up and stare at it before unfolding it. The letter is simple. Written out in blue pen. It seems so out of place somehow, out of time? I shake my head as I read...

'I know your going to think this is crazy. Who wouldn't, I know that you're the slayer but even slayers would be confused. As I stand here writing this down I know how weird it is... it's just that I don't want it to happen. You see it's not that it was all evil plans and bad-ness, okay fine yeah there was a load of that stuff but all the emotions. I need you to believe me without any doubt and listen because what I'm going to tell you is important. You're going to meet someone, I know doesn't sound all that shocking but keep reading. This someone is special he's different. He won't be what you were looking for but he'll be there for you. Now what I'm trying to get out is that on your birthday he'll need to leave town, you need to make him hurry and get out. Don't go with him for good-byes; if you do everything will fall apart. Believe me I know.'

I stare at the words for a few minuets wondering what this letter means? Who sent it? I read it once again, which only leads me to a blank stare. Somehow I know that this letter is meaningful, it should be followed. I don't know why or how but it's just 'intuitive'? "Buffy!" I hear my mom call from inside, "What are you doing out there? You need to get your stuff in the car."

I turn to the house, which seems oddly wrong now. I shrug the feeling off and reply, "Just getting the mail."

"We get anything interesting?" I hear my mom call back. I look back down at the letter, which still reads the same.

"Um you know, the usual... nothing," I yell back as I fold the letter and place it in my pocket. I know this is one of those things that mom won't understand. She doesn't know about the slayer part of my life, and I hope she never does.

"Okay then honey, then how bout you get all your stuff into the car... in ten we're out of here," Mom replies. I wander back to the house. Somewhere deep inside I know that my life won't ever be the same.

* * *

I sit down in the passenger seat as we leave the house. I don't want to move. I never did but how can I help it? I watch the house as it slowly disappears. On to my new life.

Our car stops at the house but I hardly notice. "We're home Buff," Mom tells me but I only stare at my hands. Slowly I open my door and get out. My legs feel heavy and I know that this is just the beginning. I decided, back in LA, that I'd stop being the slayer but the words in the letter assured me that wasn't going to work out. I walk up to my new room, ignoring all the bags in the car and mom as she pulls them out. A bed, dresser and a few boxes sit around the small room; all my stuff is waiting for me to put them in their spots. I don't.

"Buffy," I turn to the doorway. Mom stands there holding up a stuffy. "You almost left Mr. Gourdo in the old house," I stare at the stuffy as I move to retrieve it from her. I know sub conscientiously that I I'd left it there on propose. It reminded me too much of the pain. The big D. By this I mean divorce. But now I'm so happy to see dear Mr. Gourdo I don't mind the mild nagging. Sure he's a reminder but isn't everything? Old clothes? My bed? My reflection?

"Thanks mom. Don't know what I would have done without him."

"Yeah. So you like the room?"

I look around the room quickly taking in its simplicity. "It's fine. I like it I mean, "I correct myself as mom frowns, "You know its just I erm have to get used to it..."

"Okay, well I'm going to unpack a bit, you do the same too?"

I smile, "Yeah sure."

"New school tomorrow. You want to be able to find your stuff."

I frown, "Yeah school..."

Mom turns and heads out the door. I walk to it and shut it as I bound into my bed. It makes my life simpler. Just to lie on my old bed. I dig into my pocket and pull out the letter. The same words are read in my head but this time it feels all the more real, the words belong in Sunnydale, my new home.

Thanks for reading!


	2. you can't be together

Title: Three blind mice

Note: Okay well no one reviewed the last chapter but I'm still gonna post this new one. I don't know if anyone's reading this but I still feel the need to finish this story. I really need to get it all out of my mind so I can focus on some of the other stories I'm writing. So I thank anyone who might be reading this and I would very much apprecaite if I did get a review (lol). I really don't mind if you flame me. So yeah anyway I still wanted to say that I will post more...

My eyes bolt open. Shock drips from me as I glance around nervously. The deep longing within myself pains me, but the sleep did help a bit. My eyes catch the wall. A light green is reflected in my eyes. Where am I? I look beside me to find... Riley? What's he doing here? "Buffy, you need to get some sleep..." He mumbles as he flips onto his side away from me. I jump out of the bed.

"Just need erm air," I state as I quickly make my way to towards a door.

"Mhhh" I hear behind me. I open the door in front of me to find myself in a dark room. I wave my hands in front of my face hoping that I don't knock into anything and find a cord. I pull it and a bulb lights up. Behind me I hear a grunt. I shut the door, closing off the pesky light from Riley. When I turn back I realize that I'm in a closet. It seems to be Riley's and, mine? I still don't understand. I grab a pair of jeans from a hanger and a cute blue and white, off the shoulder shirt, and pull them on. Then an idea presents itself... like a light bulb really.

Memories of things flow through me. A few questions are answered as I recall late last night- my letter. I told younger Buffy not to go with Angel to say good-bye and she didn't. Then why am I with Riley? The answer shoots past me as the full-length mirror garbs my attention. I look at my neck, only one bite mark is evident. The master's...

I shake my head and look again. Yes the same thing is shown. Angel never bit me? Neither did Dracula? Realization pulses through me followed by answers. Riley never went to the sluty vampire freaks that caused the final breaking of our relationship? Why not? Because Dracula didn't bite me? And he didn't bite me because I never let him? Because Angel never bit me?

I only let Dracula bite me to feel the same sensation as I had with Angel. It hadn't been the same but that really isn't the point. But then why hadn't Angel bitten me? The thought was only waiting for a few moments before I again called up the reason. Faith never hit him with the poison arrow? He never needed the blood of the slayer? Another question was brought-en up by that, why hadn't Faith shot the arrow? It clicked inside; Faith wasn't a slayer, because Kendra didn't die? So Faith hadn't been called. Dru didn't kill her... because Angel hadn't gone evil. Angel and I hadn't slept together here.

* * *

Flashback

"What?" I exclaimed looking over at Jenny confused. "How-?

"I know it's a shocker. But what I said was real. You and Angel can't get that 'close'."

I look at her face, really study it but she looks the same as she always does. When did she change?, "Angel's not even back yet..."

"But he will be in less than two weeks, when he gets back you can't be together."

What right does she have? Infuriated I yelled at her, "You can't tell me not to be with him-"

"No I'm not... really," she replied with added guilt. I didn't care what she said; it didn't matter, Angel and I were more than just 'Jenny's choice'. She couldn't tell me what to do. "Buffy listen to me... if and two continue your relationship we all could be doomed. Angelus did some pretty bad things-"

"Angel, "I corrected. "He isn't Angelus."

"But if you two are together he will be," I opened my mouth to yell back but she cut me off, "How would you feel if he killed someone you love, your mom? Your friends? You don't want to believe me but you know I'm telling the truth. Buffy you two need to separate. Get as far from one another as possible. If you don't you really will ruin your life."

"It's not that simple," I stated.

"Yes, yes it is."

"I love him."

"More than everyone else in your life?" Jenny asked, I grimaced and she saw. "I didn't think so. I know you love him, and he loves you but it'll only lead to trouble. Buffy please. For everyone's sake?"

"Fine," I replied broken.

"Thank-you."

I walked out of the library and towards my house. Each step felt heavy but I continued. I doubt I was really Angel's true moment of happiness anyway...

* * *

End of flashback

I slumped against the wall. Tears streaming down my face. Pain evident in my eyes. Oh god, everything was so different. My life was so wrong. I looked at the floor as I slowly relaxed down onto it. I breathed in and out quickly. Trying to remember what happened after.

* * *

Flashback

"Buffy, I've missed you," I watch his face, bright and shiny. I wish he hadn't left. It took almost a year for him to return. Winter had changed to fall, spring followed after and then summer. It seemed so odd to see him in person. The darkness always the same when I thought of him. Always so dark. Angel crept from my windowsill and to my bed's end. Sitting down he looked right into me.

"Same," I stated. I missed him, his eyes, his kisses, and most importantly him. All of him. I didn't want to hurt him though. Now that he was back I'd have to. I wish I could be with him but that was wrong. Angel hadn't been here to understand. He stayed smiling as I felt tears run down my face.

"Don't cry. Everything's better," He leaned in and gave me a hug. I stopped crying. I couldn't show emotion. Too much emotion.

"I missed you so much. I didn't think you'd-"

"Shh don't worry about that now," He leaned in for a kiss but I pulled back.

"Angel we-I can't."

He pulled back confused. "Wh-"

"So much has changed..."

"It doesn't matter."

"Angel it does... I can't be with you." The words burst through. I couldn't believe I had said them, but I had. Angel looked taken a back.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

I wanted to explain but I couldn't. How would I? I just knew he wouldn't get it. "Nothing... everything."

"Are you involved with someone else?" his question alarmed me.

I shook my head, "How could you think that?" Angel stood up. I watched.

"Well I don't know, I come back and you say we can't be together. All I can think is 'what brought this on'?

"Angel you know that's not it-"

"Then what is Buffy?"

I shook my head as Angel moved to my window. "I need to-"

"Go?" I whispered after him.

Thank-you for reading!


	3. no, not that much worse

Title: Three Blind Mice

Thanks: Thank you so much to all who reviewed and/or read! And no this isn't the end I just had a lot of things I wasn't sure about in this story and it took some time to figure out. I do know what will happen in the end… lol I've actually finished writing that part it's just the middle that isn't done!

Note: look at the end cuz I don't want to spoil anything in this chapter!

I stood up and wiped the tears from my face. How could I have done that? What had I done? I shut the light off in the closet and opened the door. Riley still lay on the bed. I didn't move back to him though, I walked right past, out the real door this time. Outside of it was a hall. I followed it until I met with another door. I remembered it; it led to the outside. I opened it slowly awaiting me was the fresh air. The light outside was so odd.

I walked down the sidewalk, uneasy and edgy. I still couldn't understand everything that had happened. Why had I chosen my birthday all those years back to alter? How could that have made such a difference? All the emotions that I had been charged with were enough to make me question my actions but it would all be worth it if I saw Spike and Angel again. I turned into George Hampstiror cemetery and walked straight up to the large crypt that was situated in the middle. Spike's crypt. I knocked. No answer. I don't know what I'd expected… a great big welcoming hug? I gently opened the door and looked around.

There was nothing. No one. Absolutely blank. I walked around and looked deeply at the walls. No sign of anything. I blinked a few times and then I was blasted with more memories.

* * *

Flashback 

I stood in Spike's crypt watching. Riley was yelling at a badly beaten Spike. I looked from one to the other in a trance. How did this get so far? Why did this get so far? I didn't understand how I hadn't noticed this all happening before. Anger was clear on my features but I didn't really feel it. Sure what Spike had done was sick but he had just had the crap beaten out of him from Glory. Spike could have told her that Dawn was the key and he didn't. In the end wasn't that what counted?

"Your gross," Riley spat at Spike. Spike snorted.

"So hurt, army boy." Neither really noticed me. I faded into the background.

"This time you went too far."

"Ohhh no, did I offend you?" Spike snickered waving his hands in the air. The skin around his eyes was purple and he winced when he snickered.

"Maybe you did."

Spike's smile fell as Riley took out a wooden arrow and bow from behind his back. "So sure you'll go through with it," Spike said, but you could hear the fear in his voice.

"I would have done this long before if not for Buffy feeling sorry for you."

"Sorry? Yeah right," Spike mumbled.

"This is gonna be easy."

Spike looked worried. He couldn't get out of the crypt; Riley was blocking the door and he sure couldn't fight back in his condition. It looked like it was taking all his strength just to stand and back-talk. I wanted to say something, stop them but I made no attempt to move. Spike turned to me sensing my obvious unease. "Pet you can't let-" he said fading off. His eyes caught mine and I wanted to do something.

"Riley," I coughed, "Spike's not worth it."

Riley glared down at me; "Buffy this freak has gotten away with more than we need. This is too far. He's a pig."

What had Spike done that was so bad? I hated Spike sure but I didn't want him dead, or did I? The Buffy-bot was truly discussing but… Riley loaded the bow, as Spike and I watched. "Riley…" I tried but he didn't seem to care anymore.

I didn't move. I could have, I could have done many things but I didn't. It's funny how little time it took, less then ten seconds. Spike's eyes went gray immediately as skin charred and broke apart. The arrow's whizzing sound boomed in my ears. Spike's mouth opened but no sound came out as it in turn broke apart. Then he was gone. Nothing left but the tell tale dust. Riley looked a bit taken aback but all he did was drop the bow. It echoed in the expanse.

End of flashback

* * *

I looked at the spot that Spike had last stood. I coughed as the memory faded into the further reaches of my brain. I couldn't feel anything… everything that had happened lately had taken all of it away all I wanted to do was run but I stood still transfixed with the picture of Spike turning to dust. Spike was dead. He was gone. I had done nothing to save him. Did that mean Angel was too? I needed to find out. I, with great determination, turned from the spot and ran out of the crypt. I ran and ran until I reached Riley's and my house. When had Riley and I gotten so involved anyway? I reached for the handle as past words echoed through my head. 

"_I do," Riley's voice stated._

"_I do," I heard myself repeat lightly._

I do? I looked down at my hand. A diamond ring sparkled back at me. We were married? How- When? Riley and me? Married? That was… different. I opened the front door. Leaving it open, I went to a table that stood across from me and reached my hand into a bowl that sat there. Instinct led me on as I grabbed onto something. When I pulled my hand out, keys were held between my fingers. I turned back to the door and walked out, closing it behind.

I walked slowly to the driveway. A shiny white 'Neon' sat there. I unlocked the driver's side door and jumped in. I started the car and plowed down the street. I'd never been a great driver not even a good one and apparently that was true even in this dimension. I watched the trees pass me. I still felt out of place. My heartbeat was erratic and my head throbbed. I knew where I was going but somehow I worried about the outcome. LA was always a home to me but with Angel supposedly living there I never knew what to expect.

* * *

The city was dark by the time I arrived in LA and all the lights seemed to be off at Angel and gang's hotel. I parked my car out back and slowly got out watching each step my feet made with precision. What would happen if Angel were dead here too? It wasn't like I knew how to get home… I'd used one of Andrew's books to do my spell at home and here I had no idea where Andrew could be, if he had the book, if he even liked the dark arts or anything. Basically I was trapped here… but as long as Angel was all right then I guess that half of this pain I'd gone through would be justified. I knocked on the door in a burst of bravery. Inside there was a bustle of movements as the door was pulled open for me. A green demon with red horns and a very expensive suit glared at me. Who was he? Was this even where I could find Angel? 

"Yes?" he asked me simply.

"Oh um hi, is erm Angel in?" I asked trying hard not to sound weirderd out.

The green demon shrugged his shoulders and held the door open further for me, "You're Buffy aren't you?" There was a hint of hope in his voice as he asked.

"Um yeah I am… how'd you know?" I answered.

"I kinda read that part of you… you're brain is basically shouting who you are…" The green guy told me back not smiling although seemingly pleased with himself for knowing.

"I'm guessing that's something you do then…? Read minds?"

"Not exactly, I read auras while people sing but you seem so troubled that even a regular person could guess… By the way my name's Lorne."

I smiled at him… "So is Angel in?"

Lorne's smile dropped, "Maybe I need to fill you in…"

"Oh god don't tell me he's dead…" I said as tears started to fill my eyes up. I'd thought they were all used but this would, I guess, be the last straw.

"No, no, not that," he replied and sighed, "Much worse."

Note: Well I've finished this chapter finally… sorry about taking so long. I hope to post another chapter soon but I have no clue how long that might take… I'll try my hardest to make more time for writing. I know I'm sorry about killing off Spike… but I think that would have happened if Riley had stayed with Buffy… But here's the part in the story that's really the problem to write and is why I've been taking so long: I'm not sure if I'm gonna make Spike come alive again instead of Darla. I guess it depends on what you as the reader think… so please tell me what you'd like cuz then I'll be able to continue faster!!! Oh and I am again sorry for my horrible grammar/spelling. I hope I'm getting better butI doubt it!!!

Thank you so much for reading!!


	4. where is the headhoncho and his beastly ...

Title: Three Blind Mice 

Thanks: Again I would very much like to thank all who took time to read/review this story. I hope that I can incorrate all your ideas and/or suggestions! Thank you so much!! 

Note: Just to state, I myself hate, absolutely to the core, Riley's character. But that isn't the point in my story... to bash him that is... because in the show Buffy did feel something for him at least in some seasons. I think it is important to incorporate some of that... and athough he isn't mentioned in this chapter I wanted to write that right now. Now this chapter has no cliff hanger and I'm very sad about that because I do, as you might have guessed, love cliff hangers.I want to state as always sorry for my bad grammar but I do not have a betta reader so I guess that's that. Oh and I also wanted to say that the 'Angel & gang' world isn't in the correct season because I think some of the events in the show would have happened differently and in the case of this story more slowly. 

Gently I brushed the hair away from my face and looked around… there was a small circle chair in the middle of the room and two staircases that went up to, I'm guessing, the first level of rooms. "What could possibly be worse?" I asked looking back to Lorne. 

"Honey-pie, it's not Angel," he told me sadly. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. How could Angel not be Angel? 

"Buffy," I voice stated from beside me, slightly alarmed yet comforted. I turned my head to a very gruff looking Wesley. He had come out from an office, it seemed, the door still lay open showing paperwork strewn everywhere, "Angel is…" his eyes looked right into mine, "Angelus." 

"What?" Oh god it was worse. "How… I mean I know how… I mean when?" I stumbled. I guess I wasn't the only one he felt truly happy with then… sadly this information broke my heart but it wasn't as important as the matter at hand. I turned to Lorne as he spoke. 

"A while ago," he paused for dramatic effect, "everyone's been trying to capture him and… and…" he stopped. 

"re-en-soul him?" I asked, trying to finish his sentence. 

"No, no that can't be done," Wesley said gloomily, "We have to, have to, kill him or, no there is no or… just death." 

I laughed out loud which alarmed the two guys that surrounded me; "You can re-soul him though… You just need to capture him…" 

"It's far more complicated than that," Wesley proclaimed but I saw the hope behind his eyes. "It's not only him, there's this bigger evil… I think you noticed the darkness when you came in… well that would be the beast's doing." 

"The beast?" I asked slowly. 

"This is too much for her… she's just had a long journey," Lorne told Wesley. 

"No, no tell me it all…" I interfered. 

"Buffy- you don't know how awful Angelus is…" Wesley muttered looking down at a stain on his sleeve… blood… I didn't comment, "He-he'll hurt you horribly… you need to get out of LA quickly." 

"Where is he?" I asked ignoring his suggestion entirely. I knew how to save Angel and this time I could do it. I could be here to help him. 

"Buffy- you really don't understand…" Wesley tried again. 

I walked over to a cabinet on the other side of the room with a knife sticking out as Wesley and Lorne watched on, "This is where you keep the weapons then?" I asked rhetorically. The whole place seemed to be a bit out of whack. I could tell that some sort of battle had taken place here at some time not too long ago. I opened the cabinet door further and grabbed a shiny axe with a long handle, closed the door and turned back to Wesley awaiting his answer. "Sure I do Wes, so tell me where is the head-honcho and his beast-ly friend?" 

"Buffy- stop. We all know this isn't going to work…" Wesley said shaking off the ideas I had presented. 

"Wesley this isn't for you to worry about, if I die I die… I'd die for the cause," I knew the drill, "Tell me where Angel... Angelus," I corrected myself. Can't let myself confuse them. They aren't the same. "…Is. Now before another year goes by!" 

"Some warehouse or other…" he answered slowly. 

"How'd you know?" Lorne asked Wesley suspiciously. There was something in the way Lorne asked Wesley that, that made Wes seem unreliable. It made no difference to me, the 'home problems' that is and I sure wasn't going to play referee. 

"I got a phone call from a well known source," He explained dryly. 

"Where is it?" I demanded. 

"On 77th avenue. But Buffy that makes no difference… even if you could defeat Angelus… you can't get the beast down. The sun's down forever until the beast dies… Angelus is free to roam anywhere he wants… for now." 

"77th avenue… I'm going." I walked past the two and out the doors I'd come. I reached into my pocket for my key and opened the door to the 'Neon'. I slammed the door after my legs were both inside and stuck my key in the ignition. The car roared but wouldn't start. I tried again without any difference. But of course it would do this to me! On this day of all days… when I needed to get there as fast as I could and prevent anything worse from happening. I scoffed, as I flung the door aside and began walking towards 77th. It wasn't too far away I could make it there in about 25 minuets… or 30. In any case I 

would make it there. 

"Wait Buffy…" I heard Lorne call from behind me. 

"Catch up to me or yell it over cause I'm sure not waiting for you," I yelled back, as I kept walking. 

I could hear him running over, already out of breath. "Buffy, you need backup." 

I laughed, "I'm fine. I can deal with it." I've done it all before. 

"I've seen people with your mind set before… you need help… if you won't wait for anyone, let me do it. I'm not great or anything but I could assist?" Lorne suggested. 

"If you keep up then fine but I'm not going to wait a second longer than necessary." Lorne slowed down, "I guess the jobs not for you?" I asked turning my head. 

"Not that," he shook his head, "I just- I have a better idea- for me anyway. I'll meet you there… how 'bout honey-pie?" I shook my head in return. 

"Whatever you want." I turned my head back and crossed the street leaving Lorne to whatever he was planning. I must have looked absolutely weird. Some horribly distressed woman, practically barreling down the street with an axe. I bet I would be getting some odd looks if there were any people out. I guess the darkness was really getting to them. I turned the corner onto 

76th. I was so close now… I wonder what Lorne was doing? 

The warehouse loomed before me not more than 4 minuets later. I stared at the building dimly. All emotion was drained from my face yet I pressed on. I opened a side door slowly glancing around me so I wouldn't be jumped out on. Entering the warehouse was easy, too easy… I looked around, taking in the building. No one was anywhere… had Wesley fooled me? 

"Buffy?" I turned to the voice… I guess not… Angelus stood in front of me a smile presented on his lips, "My what a treat I thought you were out of this business." 

Somehow he wasn't as menacing as the last time I had faced him. I knew his weak spots. The ways he liked to fight… and on top of that I had a lot more experience with fighting since my Angelus fighting days. I walked the two steps that I was away from him and swung the axe. I knew it wouldn't really be that easy… and I'm glad it wasn't since it would have killed him if he didn't duck. 

"Your in a good mood then?" He laughed to cover up his obvious pleasure in having a 'real' fight. 

"Only getting better," I said as I kicked his legs out from under him. He fell to the ground with a thump and I got on top of him. He laughed at me more I guess enjoying this. I just had to roll my eyes as I set my axe down. "I hope this doesn't hurt too much," I mumbled to him. 

"Won't hurt me at all," He stated. 

I grabbed his head and tried to smash it into the floor to black him out but he only reached his hands up and grabbed me strongly on the sides. He pulled me over, switching the tables on me. Before I could do anything he kissed me. I pulled my face away from him as fast as I could. "What do you think we're doing? Cause last time I checked us kissing wasn't on my schedule. Nope just kicking your ass"! 

Angelus got out from on top of me alarmed; it seemed, with himself. He pulled me up right after him without a second warning and threw me at the wall. The wall was hard, very hard, but it was no match for me. I got up and went back to Angelus, suddenly looking for my axe. Angelus and I both saw it at the same time and both went to lunge for it. I was quicker though as we both stood up. Angelus had nothing to defend himself with but he still seemed un-worried. Instead of crying out in terror 

(as if he would ever do that) he started laughing. "Okay I think I get it now you think losing is funny?" 

"My god Buffy how daft you've become. You've forgotten about the funniest part." Two ruff hands circled my waste, they were hard and scratchy as rock. I dropped the axe and it hit the ground 'clang'. I turned my face to stare at my captor. 

"The beast I'm guessing?" I whispered as his arms crushed me further. 

Thanks for reading 


	5. a plan has begun

Title: Three Blind Mice

Note: well... um... i haven't updated in such a long time... and then i came across this story already written from like a year ago or however long. So i tried to edit it a little to fix some thingsand i don't really know if that worked. In any case I don't really remember how i was writting this story previously so here is maybe the last i will write for it... I'm sorry for my methods... but at least i finally got this one up and done. Thank you so much to all who spent the time to read this story... it really has ment a lot to me... and all the reviews... wow they have helped me to become a much better writter... haha i mean i'm not that good but if you have read my earlier posts (which i have taked off now) you would really see how much i've come along. So thank-you, thank-you! sincerly n170017

ps: I just hate the ending more then anything... and i was having the hardest time writing Lorne... it makes no sense... oh dear... On top of those problems i've learnt more than ever that i can't write fighting scenes...

"How'd you ever guess," Angelus commented darkly.

"Just a hunch," I coughed, trying to get the beast's grip off of me. He let go suddenly and I hit the floor on top of the axe I had just dropped. I picked it up while I stood. The beast smiled sadistically at me but I paid no attention. I swung the axe at his upper torso but his body was too hard. I aimed for his head but he caught the sword and threw it to the ground.

The beast gripped me again and pushed me into a wall and repeated this action causing me further pain. I could hear laughter behind me. He let go of me for an instant in which I ran behind him. One thing I had on him was speed and I sure had to use that to my advantage. I looked around for something to assist me in his destruction but found nothing. By the time I looked back to the beast he was right on me. He grabbed me and flung me into a large window. The planes smashed and I felt the glass slide into the skin on my back. The beast walked over to me as I lay on the cement floor and stared at me. I closed my eyes. Pain ran through my body from the previous event. Maybe I really should have listened to Lorne and Wesley. After a beat, of no new pain, I opened my eyes. The beast lay on the ground his head fully severed. Angelus stood at the side looking at me with no expression.

"Looked like you were the one getting their ass kicked," His face contorted as he snickered. I tried to stand up but I found one glass shard causing too much pain to finish this action. Angelus only laughed harder. He walked over slowly and sat on top of me. He looked me eye to eye; "This is fun!" His teeth extended and his face changed. I closed my eyes again as he pushed my face to the side and moved towards my neck. "AHHH," Angelus yelled as his weight was hurriedly gone from atop my body. I opened my eyes. Angelus was cowering in the shadows. Huh? I suddenly realized… the light was back.

"That was a smart move," I muttered to him, "Why'd you kill him?"

"Had my reasons," he muttered, "We always have our reasons… But before I go, I must thank you." He laughed cockily watching me as I tried again to stand. This time I managed to sit up making my back flame, resisting lying back down.

"What?"

"For breaking Angel's wee little heart…" the words rolled off his tongue as he mimicked a hurt tone.

"What…" It seemed to be the only world I could say.

He rolled his eyes, "On grad." The words spun me into a dizzy whirl, as my head suddenly burned as hot as my back and I had to lean my elbows down on the floor as another memory flashed by.

Flashback

"We did it, we won," Giles declared looking at me with a light in his eyes, from beside me. "I saved this for you… thought you deserved it," he told me as he handed me my high-school certificate.

"Thank-you," I smiled, "I guess I got something out of all this then." I stared at the paper.

Giles looked in front of us as if taken by something of great interest… behind all the ambulances and workers was Angel. He stood there as ridged as stone, "You should go talk to him," Giles told me while turning to me. I nodded in acceptance.

I walked away from Giles and towards Angel, my eyes glued to him every step of the way. When I reached him, he looked down at me like he knew this was the end. The end of us, the end of something more… "Did you get hurt?" I asked my head blank of anything else to say.

"Not so much… did you?" I shook my head. He took a step closer and lifted my chin with one of his hands. We stared into each other's eyes. I wanted him so much. But I couldn't, I looked away but he didn't seem to care. Angel brought his face closer to mine, I pulled back.

"Angel… No… we can't," I couldn't let Jenny down now after I'd told her I wouldn't. Besides Angel hadn't been back that long and it would look like I couldn't help myself. Giles and Jenny would be so unimpressed. Even after I'd saved the world. It was almost funny how I could do something so big and they still couldn't see past what I wronged. Also I still didn't know if what Jenny said was true but I guess I didn't even care now. There were so many factors against us.

"Buffy- I get it… I get it now but I want… no need to know why?"

"Angel it's…" I stopped.

"It's?" he prompted.

"It's so much," I said, how could I tell him I thought that being with him would revert him to his alter ego? That would just sound crazy. I looked down at my feet. Angel kissed me knowing I wouldn't stop it. "Angel please stop it," I quietly pleaded.

"I love you."

Tears fell from my eyes, Angel always could make me cry, "Angel I think you'd better go," I looked up at him. He looked taken aback but kissed me, I pulled back again. "Angel stop it," I yelled at him, "You need to go!" His eyes were hard as he stepped away finally getting it that I wasn't kidding. I felt so alone watching him disappear down the road but I knew I would see him soon. It's not like he would really leave me… I needed him, I would always need him… the darkness stole him from my eyes and I turned away. The darkness always the same…

End of flashback

I opened my eyes… the warehouse was filled with light. I coughed and brought my head up to look around. Angelus was gone. I reached my hand up to feel my forehead and in the process found my nose had been bleeding. I wiped the almost dried blood away. "Buffy!" A voice stated from in front of me. I blinked a couple times, taking in the light, and found Lorne. How long had I been out?

"Lorne…"

"What happened? Are up all right? Did you kill the beast? What about Angelus? Here let me help you up," Lorne asked hurriedly as he helped me to my feet. My back flared and I grimaced. "Honey-pie you need to see a doc."

"I'm fine really. We just need to get back to the hotel," I paused, "Angelus killed the beast…" I paused again as Lorne opened the door to the outside, "What was your plan anyway?" I asked as he led me slowly around the building.

"To get a car… there was no way I could keep up," he laughed, "Don't worry I'll get you back to the hotel. Fred-I-cans will fix you right up."

"Fred-I-cans?" I mumbled.

"Don't worry about that right now," Lorne stated as he opened the passenger door for me and helped me in. I put down the seat belt and closed the door as Lorne went around to the other side. The car ride was silent for about two minuets until, "Why'd Angelus kill the beast? Weren't they on the same side?"

"I have no clue… he probably saved my life though," I answered quietly from my seat.

"What are we going to do…" Lorne questioned rhetorically. I looked at the outside world. "Well at least we don't have to worry about Angelus 24/7 with all this be-U-tiful light."

I turned back to Lorne, "Don't be fooled Angelus can strike at any second."

"Why do you seem to know more then you're letting on?" Lorne asked me, seemingly already knowing the answer but wanting me to tell him.

"Let's just say I have prior experience with him," I answered as visions of my own world seeped into my thoughts. Angelus's face changing back into Angel's… me having to send him to hell… me leaving Sunnydale… me coming back… seeing Angel after it all… Learning what had happened… already knowing in my heart.

"I sense that. You're not really the same Buffy I've heard about… but you're the only one that can save us… I know that," My shocked face presented itself to Lorne as he turned to look at me for a second. "Don't worry I won't spill this secrete. It's almost like there's this spell over you… you know that? It just screams that you're here to help."

"This spell," I whispered repeating him, "I think I have an idea. I need to get a hold of Willow and… and Jenny…" her name rolled off my tongue. It'd been too long…

Lorne stopped the car, took out the keys and moved his hand to open the car door. "Wait," I almost shouted at him.

He turned to me startled, "What?" I had to tell him everything… didn't I? Keeping this inside would kill me… or would it better to stay silent? He seemed trustworthy… I mean he had been helping me ever since I'd arrived in LA. Also he knew something was a miss. If I was going to stay in this dimension I shouldn't tell anyone how I was here though… they might think I was 'wrong' or that…. No, I couldn't do that to myself.

"If I tell you something… do you promise not to repeat it… or judge me on it?" I asked quietly.

"Honey-pie you can tell me anything… what's stuck in that pretty little head of yours?"

"You know that… that something is a little different with me… I mean I know you don't really know me… but you seem to," I paused.

"Well maybe not know… but feel something…"

"Yeah… do you know what it is? Have you figured it all out?" I asked simply. If Lorne knew already then I could stop worrying about this whole thing.

"Not really, actually your vibes are all over the place," He answered. I guess I'd have to explain it.

"Lorne… you're going to think I'm crazy… er," Lorne interrupted.

"I won't."

I laughed, I thought I was crazy, in a way, and I was me; "I'm from another dimension… Not that different from here but different enough. That's why some things I do may seem out of character. I think they're out of character, you know I don't really know. I could have been so many different things in this life," I looked at the world, the bright world, outside the car windshield, "I keep getting flashes of my life here, but I can't past them altogether. So you think I'm crazy yet?" I asked looking at Lorne.

He didn't seem shocked or even worried he simply replied, "I don't think you're crazy, you're the reason we're going to survive. Do you see how we've been living? Do you see that we aren't getting by? I knew the instant I met you that you'd help… and now I'm even surer of it," he paused, "Let's get you inside. Your backs probably killing you." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Don't tell any of them though… I don't think it'll help any… just confuse them."

"If you think that's best kitten." He opened the door and walked around and opened mine for me.

"Thanks," I mumbled as Lorne helped me out of the vehicle and towards the hotel. My back was a bit better already. It would probably take about a day to fully heal. Which would be the perfect amount of time to get a hold of everyone and make sure that my plan was carefully set.

Lorne opened the hotel door for me and we stepped in together to three apparently worried/bored faces. Wesley was the only one that I knew but other then that there was a young man and woman. When we entered their attention quickly turned to us. "What happened?" Wesley asked us. I turned to Lorne for his assistance.

"Well the beast is dead and Angelus is on the loose," Lorne informed. I shot him a thank you glance; I didn't really feel up to trying to explain everything. "Buffy here's a little hurt, Fred you mind mending the girl?" The young woman got up and walked towards a room.

"Sure, I'll just get some supplies," She said while disappearing into the room. Lorne led me to the circle chair in the middle of the hotel. I sat down, which might I say hurt more then I was expecting, I winced.

"What did he do to you?" The man I didn't know asked.

Lorne again responded, "She landed on some glass."

"This has to stop, Angelus is too much of a hazard. I don't want to say I told you so, actually I do want to say it, I told you so… I told you that Angelus would be too much of a threat to bring forth. No one has encountered him in lets say 200 years and we thought we could handle him. What were we thinking?" The man ranted.

Wesley cut in, "We were thinking it was the only way to stop the beast. Angelus was the only one who seemed to know anything about him. We had to…"

Fred walked in then, Wesley and the other man turned to look at her. Obviously they both felt something for her, yet she seemed distracted by my injuries to even notice.

"Wow I've been rude, I haven't even introduced you all… Buffy that's Winifred," Lorne told me while pointing to the girl that was already looking at my back, "But we all call her Fred, and that's Gunn," He pointed to the man that I had not known," Gunn… the man who had called me… I could still hear his voice in my mind…

"_Hello, is Buffy Summers there?" He asked. There was no emotion as he said it._

"_This is her…."_

"…And you know Wes," Lorne finished up, "and everyone knows who you are."

"Hi," I mumbled.

Fred cut in at this moment, "This might hurt a bit." I braced myself as Fred pulled something out from my back. My back yelled at me but yet I stayed silent. "That's all I can really do except bandage it. I think it'd be best if you stayed in bed for a few days… it looks pretty bad." Fred told me as she set what had been pulled out of my back on the floor. It was a medium size piece of glass.

"It'll be fine by tomorrow," I informed her as she applied a large white bandage to my back.

"You're done… but if you want it to heal properly I really wouldn't…"

"She'll be fine," Lorne snapped out of no where. All eyes shot to him at his outburst. "Oh ah sorry… Buffy'll be fine by tomorrow," He paused. "In just enough time… Hey where's Cordy and Connor?"

"Cordy's in her room like usual… and Connor's with her as usual," Gunn replied.

"Fred, I'll take Buffy off your hands," He turned to me, "You really do need some sleep, it's been a ruff day, when you guys see Cordy or Connor tell them what happened," Lorne pulled me up and helped me up the stairs. "You all should be ready for anything tonight… we don't know what Angelus might do…"

"Don't worry he won't come here tonight… at least not for a fight… he'll wait," I paused, "It's no fun unless I'm at least healed." Lorne looked at me with worry on his green face as he led me up the stairs.

"Night…" Lorne said down to the others.


End file.
